Tuesday, January 25, 2011

OK? Anything But!

It's great news for the intellectually neutered in Oklahoma this week, as Republican (again) State Rep (again) Sally Kern has given a press release defending her bill set to 'critique' (again) the theory of evolution in OK classrooms (why is it always the Republican state reps who come out with the most fucking batshit insane ideas ever to get rationalised by frothing limp-dicked cable news pundits*?)

It reads, “At the same time, teachers and students should be free to discuss critiques of the theory and no student should ever be penalized for personal views on this issue..."

Taken broadly (which is how it will be taken, the bastards) this essentially says that if a kid had been brainwashed into creationism by family or teachers and then proceeds to cite Genesis in a high school biology exam, that student legally could not be given a lower grade to reflect the lower percentage of knowledge in their answers. They wouldn't be able to mark shit as factually wrong if the students claimed their church said it. There are probably worse connotations to something like this, but when you take something as nebulous as 'personal views on the subject' and force an education system to equate those views with FACTS, then you're really basically saying 'Don't You Dare Fail Our Little Leviticus In Biology'.

Who the hell drafts a bill to put this concept into law? There are three options: political opportunists looking for the Stupid Evil Joe Fuckface Sportsbar vote, or genuine theocrats looking to replace the Constitution with the rule of what would basically be a white Taliban, or - worst of all - both at once, a group I tend to classify as 'evil fucking idiots' when I have to classify them at all.

This shit's been smacked down since the Dover decision, and damn fucking right, too. Bad enough that the stinking, shoeless foot of the Mythical Real American Shitkicker is always scrabbling for a toehold in schools, but then stupid shitheads like this come along and provide custom-made places for that pungent foot to set down - including spaces for the webs between the toes.

Kern said her bill clearly states that it is not an endorsement of any religious belief. HB 1551, Section 2, Para. E, reads: “The provisions of the Scientific Education and Academic Freedom Act shall only protect the teaching of scientific information, and shall not be construed to promote any religious or nonreligious doctrine, promote discrimination for or against a particular set of religious beliefs or nonbeliefs, or promote discrimination for or against religion or nonreligion.”

Yeah, fucking right. It clearly states it doesn't endorse a religion. Let's think; what other groups are trying to poke holes in the titanium replica of Hadrian's Wall that is the fact of evolution, aside from religious fundamentalists? Why NONE! How queer. For fuck's sake, even countries with real, actual official state religions know it's true. Everything that's ever lived has proven it true through one simple fact: genetics. We don't even NEED fossils at this point - genetics alone prove common descent. Yet these pieces of shit are still trying to bring their ancient, creaking, rusting god to bear on established facts so they can pull the trigger.

This is what happened to Baghdad! Not in fucking 2003, either! Centuries back, Baghdad was actually the centre of the scientific world (interesting fact: after 9/11, when Bush started his Us Versus Them rhetoric, he claimed 'our god is the god who named the stars'...but if you take a look at the recorded names of stars visible with the naked eye, two thirds of them have Arabic names). When fundamentalist Islam started making its play for power in the Middle East, all of Baghdad's learning was wiped out in a shitstorm of heresy-burning. That is frighteningly similar to what's been illustrated here, and elsewhere: organised religion, no matter what kind, tries to eradicate knowledge to keep its power and worship intact.

Your Magical Truthsaying Bastard Mick-endorsed Google search for today is 'Rush Limbaugh Viagra Laughter'. Don't be drinking anything when you read the results.

1 comment:

  1. Mississippi is trying yet again to pass a similar bill. I wrote the senators on the committee and one sent me back a half-assed response telling me basically that I was worrying too much because the bill was clearly constitutional and grading would be based on academics and not religion. I wouldn't have been any angrier if the senator had told me to get in the kitchen and make a sandwich!

    They champion these bills for votes knowing that they aren't going anywhere and won't do anything. It's just a way for them to look good to the masses without having to tackle any real issues. The whole thing is insulting to those of us who use our brains.