Friday, December 24, 2010

Happier Holidays

We don't like religious supremacists here.

We don't like any kind of divisive shit like the fake 'war on Christmas'.

We don't like people using the winter solstice as a 'reminder' of this myth that the US was meant to be a theocracy.

So, just for once this year, I'm going to shut up about those things. Because at this point in the year, I don't even like not liking them. For this weekend alone I'm going to focus solely and without exception on the good things in my life.

Speaking as someone who finds it hard to actually express affection most of the time, I'm dedicating this end-of-year post to the person who makes it easiest for me to do so.

With that in mind, until this holiday's over I relinquish the anger and the sense of injured innocence, and the stance against bigotry and fuckheadedness. Just for now, I don't care. We're going to be spending this Christmas apart, and I'm going to be thinking solely of her.

Find someone you're happy with, and stay next to them as much as you can over this weekend. If you're around them all the time, make a special effort anyway. If only for the sake of those of us who can't do the same.

Have a good holiday, guys.

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

As If By Magic

Okay, Catholics, good job, you managed to slow down your atrocities and let another organised religion demonstrate how fucking barbaric it is. Now if only you can hold out until the new year...oh wait. Fuck all of you then.

Not twenty-four hours after the request in the last post, and what happens? A Muslim-supremacist hate group starts putting up anti-Crimbo posters in London.

Holy shit, though, look at the lettering on that poster (embedded for those of us who kinda feel like they need a shower after reading the comments on that Mail report):

Holy FUCKING SHIT. Do NOT get me started, you fundie fuckwits. "Rights for man, woman and child"? Who the fuck are they kidding? The very word Islam means submission. Women are property and men are assumed to be unable to control their rapin' muscles if they see an inch of female skin. Real human-rights advocacy here, huh? And what about that accusation of paedophilia? It's true with a lot of Catholic priests, and occasionally a few other denominations - but which fucking faith is it again, just remind me please, who happily state that their greatest prophet married a nine-year-old girl?

Let's look at the rest of that shit. Rape? Okay, yeah, sure, 'cause most imams would never agree with the idea that if a married man is horny, it is then his wife's duty to be a RECEPTACLE for him. Right.

They're right about the paganism, in that the whole freaking winter celebration was adopted by Christianity to match up with existing pagan seasonal celebrations and make it easier to gain converts. Domestic violence? Quran 4:34 says "Good women are obedient. They guard their unseen parts because God has guarded them. As for those from whom you fear disobedience, admonish them and send them to beds apart and beat them." So basically, if your wife starts thinking, smack her 'til she can't. Fuck that noise.

Also, how the shit is a nightclub an evil? It's a big noisy shitpile where people go to make cattle-market decisions about who to have a drunken one-night stand with, fine. But is it actually morally wrong, compared to a group of people who can come up with slogans like 'Behead those who say Islam is violent'?

Apparently the fucker organising this shit is only two years older than me. Come on, you sons of bitches, this generation's meant to be the one that starts making rational decisions!

For Fuck's Sake, Catholics


Seriously. Salvation Army, Pope, Salvation Army, Pope, Pope...(Goose?) - if it weren't for the utterly fucking worthless family of that girl who played Padma Patil in the Harry Potter films beating her and threatening to murder her for dating outside of Islam, my half of this blog would turn into the All Catholic Dickery All The Time Site.

Okay. Get this. The Pope, in a piece of news that was mentioned to me by a bro with the intro 'light blue touch paper and stand well back', has declared that the systemic, serial rape of children by Catholic priests all over the world starting in the second century AD is....society's fault. Yes, really. He really, honestly did use the same excuse as the juvenile delinquents in West Side Story. More specifically:

"The psychological destruction of children, in which human persons are reduced to articles of merchandise, is a terrifying sign of the times," Benedict said.

He said that as recently as the 1970s, pedophilia wasn't considered an absolute evil but rather part of a spectrum of behaviors that people refused to judge in the name of tolerance and relativism.

What the fuck? Now I wasn't around until after the Seventies were over, but I'm reasonably fucking certain the only people around then who didn't consider it absolutely evil to rape a child were child rapists. I'm just gonna stick another bit in here 'cause it's too typically at odds with reality to miss:

"In the 1970s, pedophilia was theorized as something fully in conformity with man and even with children," the pope said. "It was maintained - even within the realm of Catholic theology - that there is no such thing as evil in itself or good in itself. There is only a 'better than' and a 'worse than.' Nothing is good or bad in itself."

Where the fuck was this guy in the 1970s where people thought that? - oh, wait, that's right, in charge of covering up the systemic, serial rape of children by Catholic priests. No wonder he got the impression it was more accepted, all the cool clergy were doing it.

I mean, it's not even much new, that's the depressing part. There's suddenly a lot less surprise in noting that the Pope is behaving like an eight-year-old when it comes to excuses for shit that was done on his watch.

But seriously, Catholics. Give the other faiths time to piss me off too. This is just selfish.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

If This Is Salvation, Don't Salve Me Bro

For FUCK'S SAKE. It's as if these dickhats were deliberately trying to piss people off so they could point to the reaction and say they're being, that's the Westboro Baptists.

This is all over Pharyngula and a couple of other places, but the basics are as follows:

The Salvation Army are being assflakes again destroying any Harry Potter or Twilight toys donated to them, without telling the donors.

The FUCK. No shifting to other charities (because that would be 'supporting the toys'), no returning them not even any notification to the people who've spent money on these that they're just going to be thrown out for not being Jesusy enough. Oddly enough, according to the article, toy machine guns are absolutely fine. Just not witches and vampires and werewolves.

Someone at their policy office needs their genitals kicked into their lungs.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

I Smell Ararat

Hahahaha, holy shit. This one's a doozy.

Anyone who's familiar with the creationist agenda, particularly in the US and places like Turkey where they've banned the teaching of evolution, knows that every time a creatard is faced with any part of the giant freakin' mountain of evidence that they're wrong, they'll either accuse the scientists involved of being wrong, or part of a conspiracy. Or sometimes both.

Well, it's gone beyond that now. The link's to the WorldNet(or Nut) Daily site, so don't click it if you're worried about infectious stupid, but basically two groups of creationists are having a huge fucking whining contest at each other, because each claims to have info on the 'real' Noah's Ark, and they both disagree.

If there isn't already an international signal for 'RETARD', this makes a very strong case for its necessity. Not content with screaming accusations of 'unfairness' at every scrap of evidence proving their fucking fairytale wrong - even though the same story necessitates every single animal species EVER, alive or dead, living within walking distance of Noah's house - now they're accusing each other of conspiracy to stop the wrong sort of Christians being favoured with positive media attention. And get this:

Noah's Ark Ministries International is firing back at the report, stating, "We are very disappointed and enraged by some Christian scholars, who used partially factual, and plausible-yet-false materials, piled into an article looking like a scholarly report, with bold titles accusing NAMI of making a fraud. It severely maligned and hurt this organization and the exploration-team members. ...

"Most of the materials in it are based on creating or speculating a story line, by connecting the fragments of facts publicized by this organization at different situations, and put into a made-up beginning and end, and compiled into a document that misleads readers."

...I almost don't have the heart, it's too easy...but stick a fucking 'King James Version' label on the start of that report and they'll accept it without question. Seriously, everyone who's read any report ever about the Bible that's tried to mesh it with modern evidence has seen the same fucking procedure.

This report leaves me feeling very conflicted. I find it hilarious, but the hilarity itself leaves me feeling guilty. It's a lot like this:

See? Neither group of creatards has a hope of contending seriously, but it's simultaneously wince-makingly awful and gut-bustingly funny to watch them turn on each other.

Except honestly, if two disabled people got into a fight, it wouldn't be funny. We can only laugh at that 'cause it's safely fictional...coincidentally, so is the fucking ark, but the groups of morons fighting over it are ROFLworthy.

As for what I can safely call a relatively common-sense debunking of Noah's Ark as a story, I'll include this: and look! He's got a book too, and it has PICTURES! It must be even more accurate!

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Der Kinderliebe

Well, Belgium started it off with these pieces of shit and their little 'lapses of morality', and (arguably more importantly) the way the church as an organisation worked its ancient saggy tingling arse off to hide the evidence.

Well, now Germany's uncovering some of its own, and the statistics are pretty horrifying to date.

The lawyer heading up the investigation, Marion Westpfahl, said at a press conference on Friday that the available records pointed to huge gaps in the documentation between 1945 and 2009. She added this hinted strongly at a "systematic system of cover-up," in which few abuse cases were criminally prosecuted.

"Only 26 priests were convicted for sexual offences," Westpfahl explained to reporters, saying she found 365 files containing evidence that "acts of abuse had taken place in an almost commonplace manner."

"We have to assume that there is a large unknown number [of abuse cases]," she said. "We are dealing with the extensive destruction of files."

The incriminating evidence Westpfahl found among 13,200 available files implicated 159 priests, 15 deacons, 96 religion teachers and six pastoral employees, with rural areas particularly affected.
The victims' suffering often remained a mystery, she said, as the reports usually discussed abuse in coy euphemisms.

FUCK. Again. And the sickest bit?

"For me, these were surely the worst months of my life," Marx told reporters on Friday. "I felt shame, grief and dismay. As a church, we ask forgiveness for those things done by our church employees."

'Cause it's all about how members of the clergy are suffering, after all. Filth.

Friday, December 3, 2010

Conan O'Brien

Just watching Conan O'Brien like I do almost every night. And I was a little surprised when he pulled off his pants... to show his fabulous jeggings.

If you don't know what jeggings are, don't feel bad! It's simply leggings that are made to look like jeans.

On a girl, they look very attractive. On Conan O'Brien... not so much.

But the crowd went wild!

This did remind me of when I was in the store, looked through the magazines, and saw People Magazine's Sexiest Man of the Year cover. What surprised me was I saw a little picture of Coco (and one of Depp) listed as a sexy man. That was going a little too far!

He is a nice looking guy, and he looks manly with a beard, but... really.

That's just going too far. :)


According to Congressman Steve King, who cannot possibly be the most racist person in American politics, and his side kick from Minnesota, the ever stupid Michelle Bachmann, did you know that your money is in danger of being taken away by the infamous blacks?

Who we all know to be either thieves or slaves... They are taking our money, and they feel entitled to take it for being thieves and slaves. How dare they.

I mean, I thought that my taxes were in danger of being taken away by politicians who waste it on golf and hiring famous musicians on so called business getaways! Who knew that it is really being taken by men and women who are supposedly being subjected to racism that, I am sure, was settled hundreds of years ago and could not have been going on until 15 years ago!

Who knew that these people who are subjected to the racist and cultural chains of being born black (and poor), in communities filled with crime and fear and hate and a lack of jobs and education are really thieves who are only after our jobs and moneys?

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Watch All Of This

I am shaking with anger. Literally shaking right now.

What follows is a Panorama investigation into the fact that some Muslim-run schools have been teaching anti-Semitism and death penalties for homosexuality, among other shit, to kids as young as six. As the report says, it's not just Islamic schools that do it, evangelical Christian and ultra-orthodox Jewish schools do this shit too - but the report focuses on Muslim ones mainly.

The Youtube comments for these vids bordered on National Front rhetoric at some points. If you do watch them, watch all of them and pay real attention. Bigoted shit will not be tolerated here.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I feel like I need a shower.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Mo' Like Salvation Barmy

Some people just can't stop complaining.

Yes, it's the Salvation Army*, those sons of fun who used homeless people as hostages when the US government tried to stop them discriminating against gay people. They've got a new beef; another blow has been struck by heathens who dare to enjoy Special Baby Jesus Month without the Baby Jesus. Tim Minchin's absolutely beautiful Christmas song White Wine In The Sun, a track both Katie and I adore, has been included on a Christmas CD whose profits will go to the Sally Army. The song is, naturally for a Minchin classic, pretty critical of organised religion and the way it fucks with people: check it out.

Now that's bloody beautiful. But it focuses on living people, and warmth, and comfort and family, instead of a newborn with a halo. So these fucks are throwing an absolute shit-wobbler. They've called it a sick joke, which I think Tim would appreciate as quite a few of his jokes are - but still hilarious.

Well, let them squall. They're getting the money, they can bugger off if they think their moral outrage carries any weight with sensible people after the crap they've pulled.

*I remember when I was a kid, I was taken in and thought the name meant their function was to save people's lives. Given that they tried to refuse to feed the homeless when their faith-sanctioned bigotry was threatened, I'm slightly ashamed of ever thinking that preserving life was the organisation's focus.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

You Could Not Make This Up

Holy fucking shit. I have never met this guy and know only his name, nationality and job, and I already know he's a fucking riot.

Michel Rouyer, a French farmer, has been arrested and fined for feeding cannabis to ducks.

There is nothing I can think of that could make that sentence rock any harder, except maybe replacing the words 'arrested and fined' with 'applauded and given more ducks'. He said he did it to rid them of worms, and that his flock was now in excellent health. He also admitted to smoking a little bit of it. The awesome part is that they didn't arrest him for that, or possessing it, and rightly so; the hilarious part was that giving it to the ducks was the bit they charged him with. It's not like it's cruelty, unless it gives them the shits or something, which the BBC report doesn't mention, but check out this accompanying photo:

That is the most relaxed duck in the entire fucking world.

Rumours that the police were tipped off by a disgruntled baker from down the street, holding a grudge after being cleaned out by an entire flock with the munchies, can be disregarded as too funny to be real.

Throwing The Facebook At Them

This is possibly the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard of among jurors. There have been reports of jurors' own judgement being undermined because they've been looking at Twitter while court cases are ongoing, and because that'd make it easy for campaigners or lobbyists to get messages across to them and influence their decisions. The Sun (hideous conflict-provoking vultures that they are, but nevertheless) reported that a judge had to restart a trial after a juror accessed her Facebook, put up details of the court case and started gathering her friends' opinions on whether the defendant was guilty. This is, as we all know, fucking retarded, and only a conscious effort not to make snap judgements prevents me from instantly visualising this juror as a drink-raddled fake-tanned chav (basically white trash for any Yanqui folks who don't know the term) along the lines of this venomous harridan, whomever the fuck she may be.

There have also been reports of jurors investigating rape cases using the Internet. Because that's fucking unbiased, isn't it.

The report mentions that they're considering classing use of these resources for purposes related to the court as being in contempt, which sounds reasonable to me. There's only so many ongoing court cases you can Google before you realise that maybe the fringe sites calling for the lynching of the defendants aren't legitimate evidence.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Godless Beautiful Thing Of The Week

Yes, I know it's Monday. Yes, it's meant to be a Sunday thing. No, I don't have an excuse. Crap.

This will be the last Beautiful Thing of the Week, month-long test-drive as the concept was. What I'll be doing instead is abandoning the weekly format of it and just slapping them in alongside any other posts Katie and I make, as they make themselves obvious to me.

This one's a long one. Waaaay long, and it harks back to one of the first. I thoroughly recommend right-clicking this and using the Watch On Youtube option as it's faster-loading, if only a little.

This is a collection of tracks by the unparalleled Joe Hisaishi. For those who don't know, he's the composer for the movies made by Studio Ghibli and thus responsible for such gems as the soundtracks of Princess Mononoke, Spirited Away, Ponyo, Laputa The Castle In The Sky, Howl's Moving Castle, My Neighbour Totoro, Nausicaa Of The Valley Of Wind and dozens of other pieces. Man's a genius.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

It's Sagan's Day, Hooray, Hooray

It's Carl Sagan's birthday today!...pity he died fourteen years ago. Still, if other people commemorate births of influential figures thousands of years later, fuck it. This one's within my lifetime and a greater loss to human thought than any other death in the past twenty years.

Carl was the guy who first helped me make sense of the idea of four-dimensional travel in a three-dimensional perception, basically by dumbing it down a level and showing what it'd be like if a sphere dropped through a two-dimensional landscape. He was instrumental in the US space program right from the week before day one, as it were, and was a NASA advisor - one of his jobs was *briefing the Apollo astronauts*, telling the brave bastards who got launched at the Moon in a huge firework what they could expect. That's a badass fucking job. Carl went on to win the Oersted Medal, TWO of the NASA Distinguished Public Service Medal, a non-fiction Pulitzer and a Public Welfare Medal from the National Academy of Sciences.

Carl Sagan was basically the poster child for a reasonable, enlightened human being. He was raised from an early age with a sense of wonder and focused, realistic inquisitiveness that led him to become one of the most inspiring figures in the history of cosmology, and one of the best and most riveting speakers on the subject. Check this out:

We'll all miss him.

Monday, November 8, 2010

Godless Beautiful Thing Of The Week

First off, an apology. This should have been done last night, but having hit the age of 25 fists-first, at an appreciable fraction of lightspeed, I've had other things on my mind. So, here we go, slightly late but well-formed for all that.

Week Three in the GBTOTW (which sounds like a town in Eastern Europe, but fuck it) and in contrast to the biological beauty of last week's post, this weekend focuses on a different beauty: the mathematical perfection of fractals. I do this because it was brought to my attention that Benoit Mandelbrot died of cancer last month, aged 85, in Massachusetts.

Mandelbrot was the man who discovered fractals, and there's one kind named after him. The discovery led to new abilities to measure things that previously couldn't be - the coastline of my island home of Britain, for example, or the internal geometry of a lung. It also led to new theories in data compression and digital music. I won't sport with people's intelligence by wasting space here on what a quick Google can explain better - but this is the kind of thing it led to:

Shiiiiiiiit. That's a weird-looking pattern - but what Mandelbrot discovered about such patterns, and what makes them freaky to look at when stoned, is that it repeats all the way down.

Another example, less like peacock plumage but still guaranteed to mess with your head if you're under certain chemical influences. I have that much on good authority.

These things tend to look either like deep-sea lifeforms (not so far off, as the Mandel Bro discovered that they occur widely in nature such as within cauliflowers and broccoli) or radiation-sensitive images of the early life of the universe.

(A Mandelbrot pattern, named for the lad himself.)

Those last two examples aren't even mathematical constructs - one's water frost forming on the surface of a mercury pool, and the other is the fractal growths inside a cauliflower. Fucking. Awesome.

Friday, November 5, 2010

Course Set For Awesome

If you read this blog at all, you probably move in the circles where you'll have already heard about Clint McCance, the Arkansas school board shithead who declared his happiness over the recent rash of gay teen suicides because they'd 'sinned'.

I won't go into the whole story here, if only because people like VJack, Think Atheist's Ruby Dynamite (awesome fucking name) and PZ tell the story much better than I could, and with overall less swearing and personal abuse per word.

What I will add to this is that a new voice has spoken out against McCance. A voice so instantly recognisable, you know instantly that you'll get where you're going and get there fast. A voice that's done far more naughty things to relativity than any human could ever hope to achieve with a partner: George "Fly her apart then!" Takei.

Fucking. YES. I can't even add anything meaningful to that. The grin on my face is defying maths right now. Go on, George, tell it like it fuckin' is.

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Godless Beautiful Thing Of The Week

Aaaaand part two. There were no other posts from me this week, partly because Christine O'Donnell put me into a state of shock and frankly, also because of Halo: Reach.

So for the second Godless Beautiful Thing Of The Week, I figured I'd go for something natural. Something that's ancient and utterly beautiful.

I'd love to go and see this myself some day. It is widely known as the largest single structure made by living things. It's hugely diverse, and the whale/dolphin/porpoise groups, a family known as cetaceans, have had 30 species recorded there alone. It's also home to a lot of dugongs, who could be considered the ugliest animal alive. But it's also got some of the prettiest - or else it wouldn't be in this post.

(Sole exception there. The giant clam is cool, but that guy's got a fucking goofy hairdo.)

Having grown up on the Ecco the Dolphin games, I've always loved the beauty and diversity of sea life. That doesn't help me when I'm faced with ridiculous concepts like the late Paul, the World Cup Predicting Octopus, and find myself faintly glad he died because at least he outlived the World Cup and now no one's making a big fucking fuss over a randomly correlating series of lunches for Paul, and certainly no one's taking it as an insult that he didn't mutilate his fellow sea life until he could swallow them from a box not marked with their country's flag (seriously, people, come on).

But it does mean that I get to absolutely adore nature documentaries about the sea, even if it means squid freak me the fuck out now (if PZ Myers ever reads this, sorry, but aargh that beak). And it means I get to marvel at things like this, and not have to unconsciously thank someone for their existence, or worry about how their continued, observable and demonstrable evolution goes against what the priests told me as a kid.

And you know what? Out of the billions of single organisms there, and the trillions of polyps who make up and have made up the structure of the reef itself, I'd bet anything that not a single one of them ever prayed.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Godless Beautiful Thing Of The Week

Okay, here's the crack: that old concept of atheists having no sense of beauty since we don't stick a little copyright symbol with a halo onto gorgeous things? FUCK THAT. I'm tired of that, and so I'm trying out a weekly Godless Beautiful Thing - something we know is real, that we can all see is beautiful, and that doesn't appear - to us, and we're the ones seriously looking - to involve any gods at all.

This week's gorgeous thing is kind of a copout for a first go, but it's the most utterly obvious example of beauty I can think of. It's our planet.*

Now I realise this one's potentially a bit of a red rag to a bullshitter if any creatards come along. But I have a backup plan for that, and it doesn't involve judicious use of middle fingers and chair legs with TRUTH printed on them. It's just another video, but of a track by the utterly unstoppable Joe Hisaishi:

There. Two for one on the first go - can't say fairer than that. I even catered, for once, to the IDiots who might disagree with the first vid - although that's never, ever likely to happen again - so let's see how it goes. I'll run this for a month, and after that we'll see.

*Hat-tip to Daylight Atheism for the Earth link. Thanks, dudes.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

To Believe! Or Not To Believe.

That isn't really the question that comes to mind when I meet someone new. It certainly didn't come to mind when I met Mick.

Really, why should it bother people that one guy doesn't believe in the exact same things as they do? And since this is a response to Mick's post, I guess I'll go over some of the things he talked about.

One: Beauty without God. Atheists know of beauty. If we want proof of beauty without a Christian life, then we only need to look at history. Across the world, there have been many who did not believe in God, but were in awe at the wonders of the world. You don't need God to appreciate a lightning storm, or to be struck speechless at the sight of a whale migration. If you do have God, you are just saying to yourself that this is one of his wonders. But just because Mick looks to a scientific explanation as opposed to faith doesn't mean that he can't appreciate the beauty of a flower, even if he knows that it's beauty is fading, or be any less captivated by someone's loving touch, even though he knows that it's just a chemical reaction that makes him feel that way.

Two: Why did I turn to God?

People have their own reason to believe or not to believe. Some were raised a good Christian, but they saw things they didn't agree with in the bible and decided they wouldn't have any part in it. Others just happened to pick up the book and saw some life changing things. We all have our own reason to believe. An inner calling, a need for something greater, the question that needs answering. For me, it was because I just did believe. It was like truth, truth I had to pour my whole heart into being. We don't believe because we are looking for proof. Belief isn't about proof, or about science. It can be. But faith is about believing in something without needing to see it or feel it to know that it's there.

And if someone doesn't get that, don't get in their face saying that they're wrong. They are another person too, and we can't force anyone to take on our beliefs. I respect Mick's decision to not be a religious man, and he respects my decision to be a religious woman. And that's all that matters.

As a side note, I'd like to add that my belief doesn't mean that I'll bend science to suit myself. To those of you who stand steadfast that evolution is bull, what if it's how God does his thing? What if he didn't just say "let there be light", but he said, let there be a mixture of hot fluids on the face of the earth, and mixing it one way suddenly creates life? Or something along those lines. The Primordial soup theory might not be just a theory.

Sure, I believe in the majestic power of God. That doesn't mean that I don't respect the natural powers of this world any less. Science and religion are not two opposites, and I'm here to prove it.

And as an added note:

An instant gut reaction to that is, frankly, that I don't want to fit into their perception of the world. Their perception on the world includes eternal torture for nonbelievers, as well as being spied on constantly by a higher intelligence that knows when you're wanking. Their perception of reality can get stuffed, I want no part of it.

Careful Mick. If you keep up with that, you'll go blind. :D

Awe, You Poor Frightened Babies

I've been having a few more preachy pieces of crap shoved in my face recently. As Katie will verify, my attitude to religion basically echoes VJack's: treat it as you would treat your genitals, including deciding whether or not to show it off in public, let it guide governments or expose it to children.

One of the more ridiculous questions I get asked, and I'm sure I'm not the only one, is 'Well what do you believe in?' - as if I have to believe in something, anything, in order to fit into their perception of the world.

An instant gut reaction to that is, frankly, that I don't want to fit into their perception of the world. Their perception on the world includes eternal torture for nonbelievers, as well as being spied on constantly by a higher intelligence that knows when you're wanking. Their perception of reality can get stuffed, I want no part of it.

Besides, I don't have to believe in anything. No one believes in the sun, or chairs, or Sigourney Weaver or any empirically real things. If something needs to be believed in to have an impact on your life, then maybe it's useless; if it has a demonstrable effect on your fortunes or personal happiness then you don't need to believe it exists, whereas if it doesn't, then why believe it exists at all? (One idiot told me his faith in God made his life better and therefore I'd just proven God exists; I told him he'd just proven his faith exists, which is hardly the same thing and kind of points him out as a moron.)

I've also had it pointed out to be that without the idea of angels painting flowers by hand and shit like that I cannot possibly have a sense of awe, or even beauty, about the world. To that retarded claim I submit this utterly beautiful song:

Shut your eyes and see where that takes you. To me it's awe, and distance, and permanence, in sonic form - and no gods are involved. Some would say that God put that music into the head of the composer - but the composer is a woman called Yoko Kanno, and if the Bible were the basis of world law she would never have been allowed an education. So fuck 'em.

So many things are beautiful already. This planet is by no means a closed system (in your face, thermodynamic-law-wielding creationtards) but even on its own, even just through sunlight and time, it has produced more things than any human could ever hope to document - let alone explain in the Bronze Age, by sitting in a tent and writing rules on how to live as part of their tribe. And a relative handful of apes who have deluded themselves into thinking a piece of nomad-authored literature from before anyone thought of putting yeast in bread has all the answers? Not gonna change anything. Especially when that piece of literature has been translated and retranslated through multiple languages, and rewritten over time to include things like resurrected sons of gods put together from other prophetic figures, all in languages that were evolved to scream defiance at the monkeys in the next tree or tell one another where the ripe fruit was - and despite all that, it still has giant glaring inaccuracies that include two different genealogies for Jesus on his father's side (which obviously contradicts the idea that Joseph was not his biological father since he was born from a virgin, let alone one of them having about half again as many generations from start to finish)...yeah. Totally inerrant word of God there, guys. Especially the King James Version, used by many as the Irrefutable Original Word Of God despite it saying KING JAMES' VERSION on the cover.

All of this is wrong with the book they base their life on, and they're quibbling that I can't find any awe? I'll tell you what I find awe-inspiring: the mental gymnastics these people hurl themselves into to even say this shit to me. Is coherence too much to ask?

Tuesday, October 12, 2010


I wonder when you can draw the line with what is sinful and what is not. I mean, the bible says that you should not covet the property of your neighbor or their spouse. So... it's basically all in how you word it. Instead of "I want that tv" you say "I want a tv like it". Instead of "That woman he's married to is awesome, I must have her", you say "That woman is so awesome, I wish I could find a woman just as amazing".

So, to avoid sin, is it how you think sometimes that can make the difference? Maybe.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Indoctrinate Your Child - The Girly Way!

What. The. FUCK.

Seriously, I don't even know where to start with this one. Using the Disney Princesses meme - because it is clearly fucking ripped off from there - as one of the most blatant pieces of outright propaganda and child indoctrination I've seen since that Iraqi school textbook (with examples of sentence structure that went 'I love Father Saddam. Do you love Father Saddam?') and then making it look like women, Biblically, weren't there to basically be sold by their fathers and as target practice if they stepped out of line.

For those who fear the fist-itch the link implies:

My Princess Bible shares stories of 19 women of the Bible through a rhyming story and a short takeaway summary in prose. Each story ends with two lines that remind the reader of valuable character traits of a princess; the little princesses are even encouraged to recite the learning of the biblical princess using her name in the blank instead: “________ is God’s special princess; ________ is sad when she does something bad” (the takeaway from the story of Eve). This format helps children see biblical women as princesses who teach us about godly principles. It also helps reinforce that the little girl reader is special and seen as a princess because she is created by God. The final story (number 20) is taken from Psalm 139 and features the reader as the godly princess. It reminds the reader that princesses are daughters of the King and are loved by God. Little girls will love to read My Princess Bible over and over to learn about God’s princesses.

If I had a daughter and anyone gave her one of those, I'd probably punch them. At the least I'd give them a Tim Minchin album. Anyone out there who'd do something different, or have hit a similar situation - whether with children of their own, or otherwise?

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Personal Religion

I saw this image, and I was just reminded on Christian extremes.

Before I get into it, let me say: YES, you will hear about religion from both sides of the argument on this site. But we're also hoping to build a bridge between the two.

Now back to this image.

Some extremes to Christianity (and to religion itself) is the people who take it as a personal crusade, to renounce anything that is sinful, going so far as to place all their faith in churches and to damn anyone to hell for any reason.

The other extreme is hardly called Christian or religious. Okay, sure, if asked, they'll say yes, they believe in god. No, they don't go to church, or pray to god, or even realize they are sinning. They just figure that God is good and will forgive them nonetheless and he doesn't NEED people to pray to him.

But then I see this image (from a webcomic called Max vs Max), and I have to realize a few things about how I have to practice my religion.

Maybe I'll start praying to God more. I mean, how annoying would that be? He creates the world, He creates people to populate the world, He creates things for us to amuse ourselves with and improve on... and we don't even give Him a hello. It's like a parent giving a child everything, and the child just leaves the house as soon as his wallet is full, and never talks to the parent again.

So... yeah. Praying is gonna be on the schedule.

Monday, September 27, 2010

Bishop Long's crusade bites him in the ass.

Yup. If you pay attention to cnn news (either online or on the tv), you'd notice a bit of it just devoted to Bishop Eddie Long and an accusation made by several young men, claiming that he took sexual advantage of them as teenagers.

Now, for a priest who is known for his crusade against homosexuals to be accused of having sexual relations with young *men*... Better yet, he's a celebrity Bishop in a megachurch...

Does this sound familiar to you? Anyone? At all?

Now, if you look up "Bishop Eddie Long" in google, you'll find quite a few sites, mostly news rooms, and you might find more proof that this happened. Now, I really don't care if he did do it or not. I hope he didn't. All I'm angry at is why is it that anyone who takes a stand against homosexuals, why is it that they are always mixed up with a gay scandal?

Okay, it's not like I'm saying he's in the right with his "righteous" crusade against gays. I mean, I'm bisexual myself.

(But Katie! You're "The Christian"! You can't be gay!)

But I am. I'm attracted to both men and women (as I found when I was 16 and I fell in love with my best friend, Sara). Even before then, I knew it was wrong for people to be prejudiced against anyone different, whether they are gays, blacks, or Muslim. (Or a gay black Muslim). I was raised with the mindset to love your neighbor and to love God, and to a five year old, neighbors meant EVERYONE, even those I didn't meet. I would lament as I realized there were people I didn't know, and thus, didn't love!

But now I realize that my neighbor doesn't mean just anyone. It means someone who will sacrifice time and energy, and even themselves, for me. And this man, this Bishop Long, who I have never met, and who will damn me to hell as soon as he learns of how I want to fuck girls, he's not my neighbor. And for that... He deserves all the trouble he gets.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

That's Cold, Man

I saw this over at Friendly Atheist and I couldn't resist posting it here - this is exactly the kind of gap Katie and I are trying to bridge. Considering how anti-religious I am, I count myself incredibly lucky to have such an understanding partner.

Hat-tip to David Hayward for coming up with such a simple, succinct way to illustrate the 'divide', and to Hemant for posting it where my own feeble wanderings let me see it.

Monday, September 20, 2010

Big Steaming Piles Of Wrong

Well, Ratzi the Nazi's keynote speech was today.  It exceeded expectations, if you expected moderate amounts of outrageous bullshit and maybe one or two exhortations for Catholics to be bastards toward other people.

Seriously, this goes beyond veiled bigotry. It's an incitement to extremism and flouting of the law, and stops just before becoming legally classifiable as religious hate speech. Let's have a look at the more in-depth crap, one quote at a time, to see just how many big piles of moral Wrong we can spot.

"I cannot but voice my concern at the increasing marginalisation of religion, particularly of Christianity, that is taking place in some quarters, even in nations which place a great emphasis on tolerance."

A shaky start. This isn't morally wrong, it's just a fading old despot's regret that the populace in general is becoming increasingly immune to his bullshit one generation at a time. C'mon, Benny, you can do better.

"There are those who would advocate that the voice of religion be silenced, or at least relegated to the purely private sphere. There are those who argue that the public celebration of festivals such as Christmas should be discouraged, in the questionable belief that it might somehow offend those of other religions or none. And there are those who argue – paradoxically with the intention of eliminating discrimination – that Christians in public roles should be required at times to act against their conscience."

Ahhh, now we get down to it. First of all, there ARE those who would advocate purely private religion - but there are those who would advocate that people avoid eating any animal product ever, too, and they're hardly a fucking threat to the hamburger industry. Like the followup about no one celebrating Christmas in case people get offended, the avoidance of people praying together is just a fringe view espoused by people who don't know much about how people work.

It's that last sentence that contains the big Wrong, though. 'Acting against their conscience' in the name of eliminating discrimination means that acting with their conscience involves discriminating against someone. It's not an unreasonable logical conclusion that Ratzi is referring here to equality laws, particularly involving women and gay people. But if treating people fairly involves acting against your conscience, you're a FUCKING BIGOT.

Let's blockquote the next bit from the Guardian's report, as they cover it nicely already:

Pope Benedict praised Britain as a "pluralist democracy which places great value on freedom of speech, freedom of political affiliation and respect for the rule of law, with a strong sense of the individual's rights and duties, and of the equality of all citizens before the law".
In a passage that will doubtless have come as a surprise to some in his audience, the pope added: "While couched in different language, Catholic social teaching has much in common with this approach, in its overriding concern to safeguard the unique dignity of every human person, created in the image and likeness of God, and in its emphasis on the duty of civil authority to foster the common good."

All together now: WRONG.

Let's ignore the flattery and focus on how this effectively pans out: he's calling the Catholic church pluralist (which would be true if women and gay people didn't exist, and if it didn't have a history of setting fire to people who asked awkward questions, or were from the wrong country, or were just handy scapegoats), that it prioritises the dignity of every human in the world (which would be true if every human in the world were a priest) and that it puts the good of the people in the hands of civil authority (which would be true if he didn't keep protesting against the civil authorities doing their jobs when children get raped by his employees). So far, so sickening. Any more?

"The inadequacy of pragmatic, short-term solutions to complex social and ethical problems has been illustrated all too clearly by the recent global financial crisis. There is widespread agreement that the lack of a solid ethical foundation for economic activity has contributed to the grave difficulties now being experienced by millions throughout the world."

I wonder if Benny medically cannot see gold. It's the only reason I can think of for his larynx not climbing up his neck and punching his brain to death rather than have to say that sentence. That old fart is in charge of the single most grasping, greedy, selfish, covetous and unbelievably fucking RICH organisation on the face of this planet. And he wants to scold other people for a lack of ethics in their financial dealings. It's odd that the one thing I can admire about this staggeringly worthless human being is his ability to come up with this shit and not die of shame.

More blockquotes, 'cause it's easier to get this to make sense:

Earlier the pope travelled from Lambeth Palace in the popemobile. At the ecumenical service at Lambeth, he and the archbishop of Canterbury, Rowan Williams acknowledged there was unlikely to be unity between their churches, saying "challenges" were thwarting this goal. Both conceded that issues such as gay and women clergy were too great to resolve.

Yeah, it's damn difficult acting like a reasonable fucking human being sometimes.

However, he did sound a warning to those Christians more inclined to be liberal and said that equality should never trump fidelity to the faith. "We recognise that the church is called to be inclusive, yet never at the expense of Christian truth."

Equality should never trump fidelity to the faith, meaning Catholic rules should not come second to actual laws concerning human rights. Another big fucking heap of Wrong here, guys. In fact it's the same Wrong as earlier with that shit about Christians being forced to act against their consciences in the name of eliminating discrimination (damn those evil gays and those women who don't know when to shut up and stay in a groove between kitchen and bedroom, with their wider definition of love and their breasts and their impertinent demand to be treated like human beings). This time, Ratzi's tracked his Wrong in from the garden and deposited a lump of it on the carpet, like a dog who shits in just the right spot to make you wonder whether he knows what he's doing and just hates the rug.

Come to think of it, taking a priest to a vet and getting the bugger's balls taken off upon ordination might help the church's PR image slightly. It's hard to see what could make it worse.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

If You Can't Find The Words...

...quote a magnificent person. Or in this case, hook up a link to an amazing speech made by one.

I think he says it all.

Apparently the five 'plotters' arrested on suspicion of papal potshot planning were actually arrested because they made a joke in the canteen at work about shooting the Pope. What?

That's not big enough.


Which nation is it that I live in again? When did a bad joke become grounds for an arrest? I'm pretty sure now that this whole thing's because someone in the police felt the need to either find or invent an assassination attempt to foil heroically, so they'd look shit-hot on security. More on this as it develops.

Friday, September 17, 2010

More Papal Bull Shit*

Nothing new on this front as yet, other than the BBC's sickening sycophancy toward the mouldering old shithead and a group of guys who *might* be Algerian (so what?) being arrested on suspicion of plotting an assassination attempt on him while he's her. Can't wait to see how that little fucking gem pans out.

PZ Myers has a list of Hitler quotes relevant to yesterday's post that accused atheists of essentially causing the Holocaust. It's worth a look.

*Hat tip goes to Hugh Kramer for the title pun. Wish I'd thought of it.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

It's Always Disturbing When The Spoof Articles Are Accurate...

Well, the Chief Inquisitor mad old shite is in Britain. So far, no one's taken a shot at him that I've heard about. I'd never condone killing the fucker, but given what he's done I can understand the feelings of people who'd want to. I'm going to blog the whole thing one day at a time, because the more fuss people make about Britain being accommodating to rich old dickheads who believe being gay is worse than raping children, the better.

Ironically, the one article I've read that's absolutely upfront about Ratzi's history of utter fuckery is this one here from The Daily Mash, whose URL gives a good hint at what it's about.

The first speech this bastard made in Britain compared atheists to nazis and said the Third Reich was trying to remove God from German culture. That's rich, coming from a Catholic who was in the Hitler Youth - and it flies completely in the face of what's actually true, since Hitler believed he was doing God's work and was Christian himself.

First day's nearly over. Let's see how far this country is willing to bend over to make way for this appalling, bigoted, self-righteous cunt.

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Why is anyone with children even Catholic any more after this?

They always say it's a minority of priests who abuse children. That the majority can't be blamed for it.

They can't say that now. In case you can't get to that link, it's a report that shows EVERY Catholic congregation in Belgium has a horror story about a priest raping a minor in its past. EVERY. SINGLE. CHURCH. IN BELGIUM.

This goes beyond a minority. This means every single Catholic person in Belgium has been at risk from these sons of bitches. The report goes on to quote 124 anonymous victims, one of whom was sexually assaulted aged 17 and was told by a bishop to IGNORE THE PRIEST when she complained. It lists thirteen suicides and another six attempted suicides based solely on children suffering under abusive clergy. Most of it apparently started at age twelve but there are reports of it starting for some people as young as two. Most of the testimony's from people who came forward after a priest was defrocked for abusing his nephew - and who is apparently still receiving a £2,300 pension every month (getting on for $3,000) from the church.

Why is there still a fucking debate about this? How can EVERY SINGLE CHURCH in an entire country carry an example of this shit in its past, and no one find out until the police pull a surprise raid - and then the church says it's not covering it up?  They are REWARDING CHILD RAPE by stopping priests from working, but giving them money to live well on.

More importantly, why is no one going to just arrest Chief Inquisitor Pope Ratzi the Nazi when he comes to Britain this year? Answers should be put in the comments - the best suggestion will be taken to pieces and its components salvaged for use on a huge billboard greeting Ratzi at the airport...I wish.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Bending over for Transgenders

Transgendered Woman Sues City

A woman, Michael Maier, undergoing hormonal shots after a gender changing surgery was refused the hormones while she was in prison for 5 days. Now she is trying to sue the state to prevent something like this to happen to other transgenders.

Now, she was asked if she had any medication... well, here's a quote from the article:

In the city's motion to dismiss the lawsuit, it said Maier answered no to the following questions: "Do you have a medical problem that requires immediate medical attention?" "Are you now under treatment or taking medications?" And, "Do you suffer from any other medical condition for which a physician is seeing you?"

You can see why this is problematic. She should have answered yes to the last two questions. It is either that she didn't recall being a transgender, that she is ashamed that she has to take medication to continue to be a woman, or she did tell them and they didn't believe her. The reason why she said "no" was never explained.

Now, she also seems to think that people should bend over backwards for transgenders. How about no? We shouldn't treat transgenders better, no more than whites should be treated better than blacks. Instead, equality is needed.

I don't know if a hormonal withdrawal is painful, but it sounded like it by how much of a fuss she was getting into, and for that reason, yes, they should have given her the hormones, AFTER consulting it with her doctor to confirm the prescription.

Now, as to the suing? I have no opinion about that. It should just be talked about in court.

The only real objection I have to the article is the comments. If someone isn't being totally inappropriate, it's someone saying "you go girl!" and then being told that this woman deserved what she got.

The only thing that made me smile was the totally random comment: "Obama the halfbreed is the third anti Christ."

You mean there were two other antichrists? Who knew! 9w9

Monday, September 6, 2010

The Phantom Dickhead Strikes Again

Sometimes I get the feeling that those people who react most violently to the idea of contraception are the ones whose parents should have used it better.

Okay. A family planning clinic in California gets firebombed, very close to an area where a mosque gets vandalised and its attendees find themselves targeted by graffiti scrawled all over it. I think that kind of hints as to what kind of person the perps are.

"I believe it's extremists who are, want to make a statement." - Planned Parenthood public affairs director Pasty Montgomery, who wins the WTF Name award for this week.

No shit it's extremists. From the amateurish flurry of attacks that draw more attention to them, to the  Neanderthal throw-shit-and-sometimes-work-out-how-to-light-a-fire approach that's worked so well for these fucks since the Bronze Age they're so desperately trying to go back to...isn't it obvious?

The report also says Ruth Gadebusch (a close second on the name) is upset at the lack of tolerance among those with different beliefs: "It's a terrible message. If you have a message to send there are better ways to do it. There are peaceful ways and in this nation we need to learn to respect views that differ from ours."

Well, strictly speaking, we don't. No one's entitled to respect without earning it for a start - and when, like these shitheads, an integral part of your views include a zero-tolerance, molotov approach to anything your parents and pastor told you you don't like? Fuck that shit. They've been brought up to actively disrespect and push back against other people even being allowed to express their points of view, or this shit wouldn't be happening.

And while the clinic's earned respect as far as I'm concerned (and most sane people) by making people's lives better when they're not ready to have a baby? Even though the early-term abortions they've performed make up less than 1% of the services they're offering, Captain Christ-humper couldn't give two tugs of a dead dog's todger.  You're either with his Bible or he's against you, and he's probably got a whole lot more bricks.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010


Well, the bastards have been caught out AGAIN.

Sooner or later they must run out of credible priests. I mean this one's a cardinal, and the only thing above that is a Head Torturer Pope. It's odd that, while this shit gets pleas from the upper echelons that the victims not go public about it - so the sons of bitches involved can go free and be respected by the world at large - another priest elsewhere was defrocked for having sex with a woman over the age of consent.

Maybe it's only a sin to the Catholic church if whoever you have sex with actually enjoys it? It'd fit in with their love of guilt...

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

"Celebrities, I wanna be celebrity"

Not really.

I find it odd that when I go onto a news website, there's several links trying to direct me towards some celebrity news or another that is even more emotionally devastating to the common housewife than the fact that there are hundreds of people dying from treatable diseases, there are thousands of people who are living without things we in America can't live without, and there are probably millions who have to survive in a country that denies them their basic rights.

What is with our fixation on celebrities? When they are perfect little plastic dolls, we feel safe. When we find out that they have faults, cracks, chips in the paint, LOOK OUT! And when one dies, thousands must roam the streets in mourning. Yes, it is sad that a 20 something guy who has been on a few block buster hits has passed away. But what of the many children who are stolen in Africa and the Middle East to be made into soldiers? What of the women living in hostile countries who are raped and killed daily?

What about the fact that a lot of this goes on in our own country? Child soldiers have been used in gangs, women are captured and killed, gays are killed just because of their love, Jane and John Does are found and are never named, their families forced to live without the knowledge of what happened to them... the list goes on and on.

People can ask, "what can I do? that's happening miles away, things like that can't happen to me!" or "I don't want to think about that, I just want to sit in front of the tv and pay attention to my celebrities". But there is a lot one person can do, from volunteering, to giving money, to just being there for their neighbor. And if all a person can do is give money instead of giving time, they might object and say that they don't have enough money to give, they could think of all those movies they have in their dvd case, the amount of money they spend on tv and internet, and how much junk food they stuff down their face, adding to their gut. Most places that ask for money don't ask for a lot. Sure, I don't do anything but make this information known to those who ask, but I'm hoping to do more in the future.

Keeping those who need help in mind are better than forgetting them altogether.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

I Only Wish

And I don't think I'm the only one.

This is a gorgeous shirt I came across while idly looking for a graphic or two. It beats the hell out of the flag crap kids have to go through in the US right now (although this little hero is showing it doesn't have to happen).

A lad can dream. One day, it'll happen.

Monday, August 23, 2010

Hey, I don't hate Chuck Norris. I pity the fool.

Just an additional to Chuck Norris' plans for Texas, as mentioned in an earlier post. Image is from, whose fantastic name I never heard before today, and was revealed to me by my bro Kai.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Who is this Graham cracker?

This just in: Islam and Judaism are genetic traits that can be canceled out by accepting Jesus!

Franklin Graham, I salute you. But I thumb my nose at the end of it, then bend over and fart tremendously in your general direction. You have reached a new limit for monstrously barbaric worldviews in the face of GENETICS NOT WORKING LIKE THAT.

This may possibly be the most subtle bit of racism I've seen this year. You say that Islam is genetic, and make the same claim about Judaism in the same sentence. But then going on to say you can 'heal' yourself of Islamic genes by becoming Christian? So, like, making obesiance to your sky-daddy means that Muslims can cure the nasty brown person religion given to them by their fathers?

I've got to wonder if the loony twunt is thinking at all. I used to think you had to be very smart to appear this stupid. Nowadays, I'm starting to wonder if that was just a way of hiding from the fact that people really, honestly believe this shit.

As Monty Python said, you're a Catholic the moment Dad came...but then Franklin is the son of an evangelical preacher. He knows how to think out an argument like a mussel knows how to climb a tree.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Discipline This

Mother slaps her baby on plane

Now, this is tough to comment about since there's many sides to this argument, and I'm the lucky person who gets to talk about it.

When is it right for a mother to discipline children, and when should people butt in? When a 13 month old kicked her mother, who retaliated by slapping the child, a flight attendant stepped in.

Now, here's when it gets tricky. The flight attendant says that she saw the mother slap the child on the face, and upon retrieving the child and taking her to the back of the plane, the flight attendant finds that the child has a black eye.

The mother on the other hand says that she just "popped" the child on the legs to get her to listen, and that the black eye was from a dog bite.

... A dog bite. What the fuck?! Do you really expect us to believe that a dog bit your child and you didn't do anything to prevent it? Even if you didn't give the child the black eye yourself, letting her get near a dog that is angry enough to attack her is just bad parenting in and of itself!

Let's not forget that this is a 13 month old girl. She probably doesn't know she's doing anything bad in the first place. While some toddlers can express wide ranges of tantrums at this age, they would never need to be slapped or hit. Actually, you can still discipline a child of any age without resorting to violence.

Of course, the mother in question just brushes it off, saying that "It's ma child, I can discipline her however way I want". NO. This leads to child abuse, you sick fuck.

The father had the right idea, yelling at the mother to stop hitting the child. He should probably divorce the dumb bitch and take his daughter far away from her.

Now, here comes the tricky part: At what point should a stranger get in the way, such as flight attendants?

The answer? Before it's too late.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Build A Holy Army With Your Hole

Have a fucking bucket ready.

I think I'm going to be sick.

That's a group who - notice in the vid - won't confirm that Catholics are actually Christians too. The bitch wouldn't give a straight answer talking about Latino people either. It backs up what's hinted at in the group's literature - they're building a Christian army. They're breeding a Christian army. To take back the world as their rightful Christian place.

Either they're boned or we are. Thankfully, it's them.

*Video gratefully if cheekily sourced from Ed Brayton's blog Dispatches From The Culture Wars. Thank you, Ed.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Don't X Me Y, Just Do What I Say

It's settled. The homophobes have no idea what they're doing.

For those who know better than to read anything ever posted on WorldNutDaily, that's a link to a minor rant by a truly microcephalic lady named Nancy Pearcey. This is a woman who thinks Earth is six thousand years old (a figure apparently based on adding up the ages of all the sequential generations of people mentioned in the Bible, hint hint) and that people coexisted with dinosaurs.

That's only the start. The whole thing's so intellectually crap that it's only appeared on the site that gives a weekly column to Chuck Norris, possibly the subject of the greatest amount of misguided respect on the Internet...and this dumb bitch has decided that gay people and transgender people don't respect the human body.

...What? Why wouldn't they respect it? Like anyone, they put a lot of work into getting it to look just the way they want - the way they think their body should look. Like a lot of people on both sides of the gender divide, sometimes they resort to surgery. Why do they show any less respect for the human body than any of the people Pearcey isn't talking about?

The article's full of this sort of thing. Very vague definitions that don't really make sense when you look into them with real inquiry in mind, but which make just enough sense to resonate with anyone who's already decided gays are morally in the wrong for being who they are. Like a lot of opinion writers who come down on the repressive side of the moral viewpoint scale, she quotes old writings and implies they're factual, taking their accuracy and even their relevance as read without a second thought. She even uses Descartes' logic, by quote-mining a philosopher called Daniel Dennett on the topic of body-and-soul duality as Descartes laid it out - a view Dennett doesn't actually agree with, which means he'd probably be quite pissed if he knew what she did.

She kind of thinks in cartoons, too. Like, real kids' stuff. She keeps making this assumption that people are born with a sexual identity and should stick with it, and anyone gender-confused is apparently just being rebellious or sinful. What she thinks is in it for these sinners to do such a thing, she doesn't say. But she either doesn't know about or is deliberately ignoring the fact that XX and XY, the so-called 'officially' male and female chromosomal configurations, are not the only ones. There's a hell of a lot more than just those two, and without getting into complicated genetics info that I can barely make sense of it's hard to go into what the differences are. (It's easy to find the necessary stuff on Google if anyone does want to read up on it.)

There's also this little gem:

this represents a devastatingly disrespectful view of the physical body. It alienates people from their own bodies, treating anatomy as having no intrinsic dignity. No dignity is accorded to the unique capabilities inherent in being male or female.


Which dictionary's she working from? The inner workings of a human being are not very dignified processes. Mine certainly aren't. While she's clearly talking about reproduction, the 'unique capabilities' inherent in the genitals of a human male are basically the kind of pressure systems that'd never make you want to pump up a Super-Soaker water gun again. A surge and a splat are not exactly noble goings-on. She's trying to appeal to some higher purpose inherent in all this, but consider it all in context it just comes out as 'ADAM AND EVE NOT ADAM AND STEVE BLAAGH DERP' and other such time-honoured wastes of space. If she's going to only use her body parts for what her god supposedly intended, does that mean she's not going to whistle? Will she follow her god's intent for her feet and make sure they never do anything that humanity came up with for itself, like driving a car or using a trampoline? Does she eat her meat raw and live in a tree? She typed that shit with her fingers, and I bet no one in the Bible imagined that one...and if she doesn't like the idea of going back that far to different body parts, then tough. You pick on people for how they use their penises, and they'll all rise to stand up against you.

Or something.

Fact #892: There is no brain in Chuck Norris' head. Only a fist with a cross tattooed on it.

There was a time when I, like many other teenagers with Internet access, loved Chuck Norris jokes. I'm not proud of every moment in my life. But it's only recently I've started realising how deeply fucked-up this bearded Bible-thumper is.

Get a load of this shit.

This is a guy who has been quoted as saying Texas should secede from the US and form its own republic governed by the Ten Commandments. There is no chin under Chuck Norris' beard; there's no fist, but there's no fucking chin. Got to wonder how many of the racist, inbred dickheads who think he's a natural leader for Texas would react if they did enough reading to find out his real name's Carlos - just like one a' them there dirty Mex'kins!

Most of the people who would vote for Chuck are the type who tend to wear at least one item of camouflaged clothing almost all the time, as if to proclaim 'I am wearing this item of military-looking clothing, therefore I am quite dangerous in a rhetorical, Deep Southern, don't-tread-on-my-Bible's-laws-or-I'll-murder-a-doctor sort of way'. The problem is that it actually comes across to most people as 'I'm wearing this piece of camo, because soldiers wear camo, and therefore I think I look like a soldier and THAT MAKES ME AWESOME.' If Caps Lock is cruise control for cool, wearing camo outside of the damn military is cruise control for looking like you dressed with the lights on.

I realise that this might sound hypocritical of me, however: I have been a fan of Mr. T since I was a child and it seems to me that he is the perfect example of down-to-earth manly philosophy: "When you see me now, I'm nothing but a big overgrown tough mama's boy. And I speak that with glee because the problem with society is we don't have enough mama's boys." Compare that to Norris' hypocrisy - wants the Bible running the US, but I bet you the fucker's eaten lobster before - and there's really no contest.

Fuck Chuck. T helps you see.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

You Say Islamic Terrorist, I Say Christian Soldier...Let's Call The Whole Thing Off

Another reason churches should never control if we needed more proof.

So, the US military is having evangelical chaplains do the job of trained psychiatrists. Soldiers serving in Iraq and Afghanistan, and suffering from battle-related problems like post-traumatic stress disorder or PTSD, are being referred to BLOODY PREACHERS instead of people who can help them.

So what are these preachers saying? Have a guess.

According to the reports of these veterans, the chaplains they were sent to for evaluation and treatment had the unmitigated temerity to urge, as a medicinal cure, a conversion to evangelical Christianity, and sometimes even went as far as disgustingly lacing their "counseling" with the soldiers' need to stay on the battlefield to "kill Muslims for Christ."

These fucks need to be told they're doing what the Templars did in Jerusalem. It's a crusade. It's killing in the name of a god, and its proponents should be castigated - along with every single goddamn Christian who doesn't condemn this and spread the news far and wide so all their friends can condemn it too. The bigger the public outcry, the faster this will be fixed up. I hope.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

At the moment, I am at the absolute limit of what I can handle. It appears that what I can handle is my boyfriend being an atheist, angrily talking about right winged religious nuts in front of my mother in a very public environment. Announcing that you disagree with my family's core beliefs in Wal-Mart? That's okay.

What I can't seem to handle is this unsettling feeling I got the moment he left to fly back to England. Didn't I mention that he lives there while I live in this flat land called Minnesota?

See, when people talk about missing each other, saying cheesy lines like "You complete me" or "Never gonna let you go", I usually turn my ears off. But see, at the moment, while I sit alone with my cats on my bed, wasting time until I drift off into sleep, it feels as though some crucial part of me is missing. It's like when someone is hungry, but the person doesn't have a stomach, or when an artist sits down to draw, but he doesn't have any hands. It's like trying to walk and finding that you have no feet, or feeling that your feet are itchy, but they aren't there.

What I'm missing in my life is someone who will hold me when I cry, and tease me until I laugh, someone who I can lean upon, or get angry with, or argue about whether or not it's right to hate a racist person, no matter who that person may be. It's like their lips should never leave mine, their body never escape my hold, their eyes never leave my gaze.

I miss my angry atheist, after two and a half weeks of living with him. I found that not only do I still enjoy his company, but each time I got to tell him "Good morning", or be able to kiss him, and each second I spent with him, I fell further in love with him.

Now that he's gone, I'm sad, and the only thing I can smile about is knowing that I won't stop until he's in my arms once again.

As always,

The Christian.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

US BP distributors consider reverting to Amoco brand

In the latest of a series of what can only be described as dick moves by people on the fringes of the Gulf fuckup, a group of British Petroleum's American distributors are considering shifting their displayed brand name from BP to the old Amoco brand with the clear intention of making it look like they have no link to BP's hideous PR mistakes and general profiteering-driven dickery. The worst part is that the people who don't know who Amoco are/were will take this as a good move by the distributors instead of sleight of hand intended to fool the public eye. Enough of those people will be buying products under the 'new' Amoco label that there'll still be roughly the same profits going to BP - and they'll feel justified in having engaged in blatant misdirection in order to ignore public opinion and still rake in the cash.

Looks like there'll be a number of people hearing about this from me soon enough. Those around me, expect angry diatribes about liars and dickwads.

- The Atheist

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Protests at Comic-Con

Phelps Clan Plans to Protest at Comic-Con!

The reason?

Apparently, God hates nerds.

While I am not God, I can assure everyone that nerds are not outed by God. But they are outed by the Phelps clan, the most retarded group of Christians I have ever heard of, for, apparently, worshiping superheroes like Superman as though they are worshiping Gods.

From the Book of Superman, Issue #12. "And Lo, Our Lord Superman flew through the skies, and the people below cheered his praise as he flew over his flock. And he did take Lois Lane, his one true love and disciple, and he kissed her fully on the mouth. And on the third day, he defeated a villain, and all was good.

Yeah, right.

Apparently, the reason they stand behind this is by taking a passage from the bible: Romans 9:13. Wanna guess what it says? "As it is written, Jacob have I loved, but Esau have I hated."

Now, my only guess is that they think that Esau is the nerd. It's in fact opposite. Esau is the idiot jock who stupidly sold off his inheritance. Of course, Jacob kinda conned his brother...

Well, if anything, this just proved that, yet again, the stupid and the weak minded need no reason to hate. They just will. It does greatly tempt me to go to Comic-Con, dress up as Supergirl, convince a cosplayer dressed as Batgirl to make out with me in front of the protesters, and, this is the important part, for a group of DC fans to gather around us and "worship us" with their lusty grins.

That. Is what I would call righteous revenge.

As always,

The Christian and the Atheist.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Cops and Robbers

Family Says 911 tape Caught Cops Planning Cover-Up After Shooting

Let me give you the short of it. A homeowner calls the cops. The cop charges in and shoots the home owner. Believing that they killed the homeowner, the officer in charge talks about covering it up. The homeowner was on the phone with 911. The tape was still rolling as the officer says "I have your back, I'll take care of it." There's no way that they could cover it up, but they don't know that.

Please, click the link. It has enough bullshit to annoy the hell out of anyone.

As always,

The Christian and the Atheist.

Monday, July 12, 2010

Amanda Lepore; I don't believe in her.

Amanda Lepore Wikipedia

Yes. That is a transexual. Yes, she does look fake.

If you need a closer image, here she is again:


She apparently has done so much surgery to herself that she looks plastic. WHY would anyone want to look like someone just molded them out of modeling clay, I do not know. Compared to it, Michael Jackson looks like a failed attempt!

Sure, she is a very beautiful woman. She has everything right, pale skin, nice hair, a gorgeous bosom, thick lips... She just looks so fake, I can't believe someone would even want to look that way! How could they do that on purpose?

I think it's the boobs that do it. Those pearly white, absolutely round, gravity defying boobs. And the face doesn't help either.

I'm all for transexuals and plastic surgeries. I just cannot believe when someone makes themselves look so fake that they look ugly.

As always,

The Christian.

First Post

Right. Dunno what to write here. My soon to be boyfriend, the atheist Angry Monkey, keeps on ranting to me about the bullshit of the world. So I, the Christian, shall relay to the world our discussions. Sometimes he might come on and talk. Dunno how. But I shall figure out a way.



So, first off, why I started this.

Well, my soon to be boyfriend is very opinionated. And I have to sit through his rants. And listen to him. And get bored. I'd rather be reading why he's outraged instead of him telling me why. So hopefully I can ask him to send me a link of whatever is making him like this, and we can be outraged together. Because some things are filled with such shit as to anger both an atheist and a christian.

Of course, this site might also be about when we disagree on things. Like, should we wait to have sex, or is that just silly? Do people need religion or do they need to see the light? Would the world be better without the anime Saiyuki? And so on and so forth. You know, the important things!

So, as always, I shall sign off until I get more outraged about some misdeed of some sort.

Yours truly,

The Christian.