Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Same Reason We've Got Creationists

This is becoming a pattern. Seriously. ANOTHER GOP State Senator. What is it with these motherfuckers?

This one, Stephen Wise, a State Senator for Florida (apparently named the Sunshine State because of what you can see in people's ears) wants to teach 'non-evolution' in schools.

Seriously. Because that's apparently the next step in wordplay after Intelligent Design joins flat-out Creationism on the 'everyone fucking knows you mean Genesis, you hillbilly-pandering retards' pile. Non-evolution? For real? Fuck, man, you're a career Republican, and your ability to make up shit that sounds convincing deserts you right then?

That's the only explanation I can think of. He suffered a Critical Lying Shithead Failure right as he was putting this together.

It's not the first time Wise has tried his hand at this type of legislation. In 2009, Wise mounted a failed effort more specifically focused on teaching intelligent design in public schools. Wise told the Tribune this week, however, that he believes the state Legislature's growing conservative makeup could pave a way for the bill's successful passage this time around.

During his battle then, Wise, a retired teacher himself, made his case on a radio station for including an alternative to evolution in the public school system's science curriculum.

"Why do we still have apes if we came from them?" Wise asked during an interview with the Tampa's WMNF. "And those are the kind of questions kids need to ask themselves. You know, 'How did we get here?' And, you know, there's more than one theory on this thing. And the theory is evolution, the other one is intelligent design."

Well, no, fuckhead, that's not what kids should be asking themselves. That's what they should be asking teachers, who should be allowed to give them the factually correct answer - which is to point out that we didn't come from apes, we are apes, and we came from the same common ancestor we share with chimps, and our two branches came from the same common ancestors as other apes like gorillas and orangutans. It's also the kind of question that shouldn't be asked, because only a moron tells a child that we came from the same apes that are around today. There is not more than one theory. There is one theory and there is a bunch of pricks with no knowledge or understanding of genetics howling about how they ain't kin to no monkey while they make faces previously only seen in gibbons. There is one theory and there are the dying howls of dogma. And you, you simpering self-righteous motherfucker, are on the wrong side.


  1. If anyone wants creationism taught in science classes we should ask them "which version of creationism?". When you check wikipedia on the topic of "list of creation myths" you will see a whole host of bizarre stories! Do we want these taught as scientific theories to school children?

  2. That's a very good point. The same loonies wanting creationism in science are the ones who don't want children knowing that men *have* some of the body parts that older myths claim the universe is made of.

  3. Unfortunately, the same crap is happening in Indiana. There's a bill set to come up for full senate vote at a session beginning at noon today, that will open the door for "creation science" to be presented as a viable alternative to "the myth of evolution" in public schools. They're also working on a bill to get the "Lord's Prayer" recited at the beginning of every school day, again in public schools. These idiots are EVERYWHERE.

  4. They must be fought. If they want a nation ruled by holy books, they can fuck off to Iran. The free world has no room for theocracy.